April 12, 2007: White Rabbit's Celebri-spiral Ode to Imus

By this point, what's left to say about Imus and the "ho" shots heard 'round the world?

MSNBC dumped him. CBS suspended him from radio, and as the advertisers flee, how long before they give him the boot, too? The women's basketball team of Rutgers is so earnest and appealing that he looks worse by the minute. Now there are allegations of previous racial comments and improprieties at the cancer ranch. All of this before he makes an apology at the school to those young women, and the world, and we see if he moves the dial in his favor at all. I never liked him, but I'm hinging my opinion on the damnation by fellow shock jock Howard Stern. So take that with the largest acre of salt you can find.

Most importantly, he's causing me to have a total celebri-spiral, in which I am Lost in Imus-land and the World of the Haters.

Instead of taking an Alice-like-dive through the I HATE IMUS looking glass, I composed this little ditty to get me through my Imus celebri-spiral.

(Sung to the tune of "White Rabbit")

One show makes you larger
And one slur makes you small
And the slurs that guests throw to you
Don't keep you on the ball!
Go ask Imus
When he's two feet tall

And if you go dribbling caca
And don't know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah smoking bloviator
Has given you the call
Recall Imus
When he was just as small

White men on the radio
Think they know how far to go
And you just had some kind of mushroom
And think you're a frat boy with your bro
Go ask Imus
I think he'll know

When logic and a muzzle
Were never on your head
And the team coach defends her Forwards
And Al Sharpton's "off with his head!"
Remember what Mel and Kramer said:
"Dude you're dead,
Dude you're dead,
Dude you're dead"