May 13, 2007: Celebrity Quotes that Make Us Celebri-spiral

You have to hand it to VH1. They are owning the celebrity tabloid TV market (sorry E! Channel) with some shows that spoof celebrity culture (Best Week Ever) and others that celebrate it blindly.

The newest addition is VH1's 40 Dumbest Celeb Quotes, and frankly, I am not sure which of the two categories this one falls under.

On the one hand, spotlighting quotes like the following seems, in and of itself, like a spoof.

But on the other hand, it's not. They happened. The media covered them and we lapped them up, in blind, if not dumb, celebration.

Here are a few in all their glory:

The Blondes

• Jessica Simpson - "Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea"
• Tara Reid - "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist"
• Paris - "What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff?"
• Alicia Silverstone - "I think that the film "Clueless" was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

The Leaders

• George Bush - "Too many obgyn's aren't able to practice their love with women across this country."
• Arnold Schwarzanegger - "I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
• Bill Clinton - "If I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mommy."

The Geographically-Challenged

• Britney Spears - "I get to go overseas places, like Canada"
• Christina Aguilera - "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
• Dan Quayle - "I love California. I grew up in Phoenix."

And The Truly Bizarre

• David Hasselfhoff - "I find it a bid sad that there is no photo of me at the museum at Checkpoint Charlie."
• R.Kelly - "All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through."
• Brooke Shields - "Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

They made us laugh, they made us shake our heads and feel perhaps slightly superior, and, most importantly, they made us pay attention to those who said them. So maybe VH1's next show should be called VH1's Dumbest Celebri-spiraling Viewers.