Celebri-spiral™: Enough Already

Our culture is in a celebri-spiral. We're conflicted over our ridiculous, growing celebrity culture consumption via magazines, websites, and TV shows. In 2007, my love/hate conflict made me take to the blog-o-sphere. All writing on this site © Dave Singleton 2009.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

February 28, 2007: Stop the Celebri-spiral Presses! Amanda and Peter Together In Real Life?

Award show season is over, but not before it's leaves us with this Tsunami of a celebrity rumor. Jack Wagner and Heather Locklear, who played lovers in Melrose Place, may be dating, according to a new report. Here's the scoop:

Heather Locklear and her former Melrose Place co-star Jack Wagner shocked guests at the Beverly Hills Hotel when they showed up holding hands for an Oscar party. Locklear, 45, and Wagner, 47, both appeared on the hit drama in the 1990s and have apparently kept in touch since the series ended. The new celebrity couple made their debut together at Dreamworks chief Jeffrey Katzenberg's The Night Before Party on Saturday.

It pains to me admit how much I like Melrose Place. I want this rumor to be true so bad for reasons I don't fully understand. Do you remember the MP finale when Amanda and Peter faked their own deaths, married on a tropical isle, and headed off into the sunset? What can I say? Is art meeting life at the intersection of Celebrity and Rerun? Is the book title wrong? Maybe love is like an 80s song.

Amanda Woodward belonged with Peter Burns, not with mean mobster Jack Parezi, sexy but insecure Jake, or slow-eyed Kyle. Peter Burns deserved better than crazy Kim, sassy Sydney, or Taylor, the big-lipped stalker who grated with her standard refrain "but baaaaabbbyyyy."

To quote from Jack Wagner's 80s sugary pop hit "All I Need," which I now think he sang with unrequited lust for Heather:

Yes it's true we've all been hurt before
But it doesn't seem to matter anymore

It may be a chance we're taking

But it always comes to this
If this isn't love we're making
Then I don't know what it is

All I need i
s just a little more time
To be sure what I feel
Is it all in my mind?
Cause it seems so hard to believe

That you're all I need

Romance is alive, people! It's never too late. Hope is a renewable resource. Love is not the weapon of mass destruction that we've been led to believe. Get out there! Find your costar from the 90s and maybe that's all YOU need. Celebrate good times, c'mon!

21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get the F out!!!! This is awesome

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 3:27:00 PM  
Blogger Bobbi Whalen said...

I am doubled over, panting and gasping for breath, wheezing with laughter. I knew him as Frisco first, then he became Peter to me, and now...Hope.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 4:30:00 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

This is the hottest C-list pairing since John Stamos (Blackie) married Rebecca Romijn. They couldn't be more Hollywood-gorgeous...soap opera royalty and I am thrilled for them!!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 8:00:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Vivi is me, Dave...I too have a million emails, web accounts, etc. It runs in the family...

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 8:02:00 AM  
Blogger Annie & Suz said...

HAving a Melrose flashback and feel like pushing a fully clothed deranged nemesis into a pool!

Who's next Daphne Zuniga and Andrew Shue?

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 9:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to see Josie Bissett and Courtney Thorne Smith leave their men and spend the next few years bumping pocketbooks in a hot, steamy Melrose setting. Woof.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 9:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woodie, are you a a str8 man or lesbaterian? Just curious.

I want to see Grant Show and Dan Cortese, brothers on the show, be boyfriends in real life. There I said it.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 9:23:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

ok, i admit it, i completely broke up with blackie when frisco rolled into port charles, but now jack wagner gives me the creeps. take one look at WagnerWorld.com -- specifically his bio, which i think maye be the longest bio EVER, and even more disturbing, the "According To Jack" and "Jack According to" -- and note the number of times he mentions Heather. I think he is the new breed of Celebrity Stalker. WATCH out K-Fed.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 12:10:00 PM  
Blogger Dave Singleton said...

I saw another picture of them this week. At Mr. Chow's. I got the same rush I did the first time. Hope they're playing well together.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 3:32:00 PM  
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