May 22, 2007: Celebri-spiraling on the Flight to Las Vegas for Work

Flying for work today, and we know what that means in addition to prepping to do my job. It means a flurry of newspapers, magazines, USA Today headlines, CNN crawls, and the like, probably 50% of which was devoted to celebrities.

What did I learn in the mere airport-and-flight-time-of-seven-hours?

• Britney, headed to Miami from LA to lip sync four songs wearing a variety of wigs while promoting a "comeback," actually made the pilot stop the plane so she could get off. Her reason? The plane didn't have leather seats.
• Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake broke up but is there still tension? The news correspondent who analyzed their quick peck on the cheek at the Shrek 3 premiere seemed to think so.
• Lindsay Lohan might have been doing drugs and it might have been captured on video and she might be upset and a little sorry about it and her friends who leaked it might actually be worried about Lindsay and that's the reason they ratted their friend out. Oh, scratch that last one. The 15 minutes, the money, the "fame by association;" those are the reasons we see so many "friends and family of.." coming forth these days.
• Gossip blogger Perez Hilton gets 2 millions hits a day on his site, has three million dollar lawsuits pending against him, and blogs all day in the Los Angeles Coffee Bean and Teaf Leaf. USA Today calls him influential, while he crowns himself the "Oprah Book Club" of music. This is probably, sadly true.
• Candy Spelling wrote letters of admonition to headed-to-the-hoos-gow Paris Hiton and Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, already in the pokey. Who next Candy? All I can do is agree with Amy Poehler, who looked at your picture and claimed, "White wine. Making housewives insane for two hundred years now."
  
• Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria said her TV wedding would be bigger than TV's iconic Luke and Laura nuptials. Ego much?
• Oprah's dad is writing a book on her and she found out about it from a New York Daily News reporter. She is upset. I don't blame her. Why would he do this? He can't possibly need the money.
• David Hasselhoff got the kids in the custody disputes, despite his videotaped drunken burger chomping episode. Hmmm, something's fishy with the wife, who has been on Larry King now twice with scandalicious lawyer Debra Opri, who just billed Larry Birkhead $600 g's before being canned as his rep.
• Amy and Joey are at it still. Joey was spotted frolicking in the pool with his soon to be divorced wife. Amy says the woman is "history." Note to Joey's ex: given the history here, believe Amy when she speaks. Now Mary Jo is on Larry King tonight and CNN is promoting the hell out of it. They are really looking for an Anna Nicole ratings replacement.
• Brangelina dominated the Cannes film fest. Sorry Sharon Stone. Someone stole your glamor crown, though you certainly took over the limelight at this film fest post Madonna and pre Angie. Brad and Angie are impossibly attractive, now with an enviable home life to boot. More on this tomorrow.

Do I need to know any of this? What do I do? Look away when I see or hear trival celebrity news?