May 27, 2007: Valley of the Dolls Goes to Jail
As if prisons aren't overcrowded enough, now it's possible that the cast of Valley of the Dolls 2007 (Paris, Lindsay, and Nicole) might be headed to the pokey. Not content to let Paris and Nicole get all the attention with their DUI's-or Britney with her head-shave-meltdown- Lindsay got behind the wheel of a car on Sunset Boulevard at 5 A.M. Don't we all know by now that no good can come of that?
She's in trouble. Fleeing the scene of an accident, coke allegedly found in her car and a possible DUI, which now puts her a few charges ahead of the others. She's under 21, too.
Are they ALL going to the hoos gow, the pokey, the slammer? If so, will they bring the jails down, too? There's a phrase used in AA meetings: a drunk will get you drunker quicker than you will get her sober. With a mother like Dina Lohan, you might need some room in your cell, too, L-girl.
Someone wrote the following letter on TMZ. It doesn't seem far off if you ask me:
Don't worry baby, we can get another vodka, or a tequila company to sponser your party. This wasn't your fault, and THEY know it!!! And if Hollywood has a hissy fit over this little stuff, we'll just have your party in Columbia. Love, Mommy
Advice to LA County jail inmates: good luck and when Lindsay wants to borrow your cold medicine, lighter, and/or car, JUST SAY NO.
To Lindsay: a new GEORGIA RULE! Take Jane Fonda's generous offer that she's made in the media for weeks now and stay curled in Barbarella's arms until you grow up.