January 30, 2007: American Idol Auditions Continue
I can't believe that, after three years of sobriety, I relapsed into American Idol addiction last week. I didn't mean to. I landed on the Idol by accident.
Last week, I was:
Home alone (bad idea #1: Watching TV solo is as dangerous as drinking alone for some of us)
Channel surfing (bad idea #2: If your tendency is to get sucked in quickly, like a crack addict with $20 in your pocket, strolling by a lineup of pushers, put the remote down)
Feeling out of sorts (bad idea #3: my father died a few weeks ago, my stepmother has made Dynasty's Alexis Carrington Colby look like a nun, and the east coast January blahs are definitely afoot)
The producers of that show (and reality TV producers in general) deserve a special place in hell for their wicked, luring ways.
One minute you're agog watching Brooklynite Ian Bernardo (pictured) sing like Horschack's retarded, fame-hungry child from Welcome Back Kotter. That was a spectacular televised preview of full-blown, delusional schizophrenia.
The next you are tearing up at the Idol's own Little Miss Sunshine, an underdog named Sarah Burgess, 17, from some podunk town called East Palestine, Ohio (really, could you make that up?). She's never been a bad girl, but she told her strict daddy, who loves her and vice versa - however, it's Quel Tragique! He doesn't support her singing dreams - that she was slumber-partying with a friend. In fact, she hopped a bus all by herself to New York City. Turns out she has a great voice (acapella, she sang Call Me by Blondie; a brave, adult choice. The girl has cojones).
She is the American Idol package; talented, attractive, sweet and, key, she has a story that American Idol can work! The judges gave her a thumbs up, she broke down in tears, and Ryan Seacrest wasted no time in calling her Daddy on his cell, to tell him that his little girl was headed to Hollywood. She was terrified that Daddy would be mad. But in a great "Dad" moment, he softened and told her that he just wanted her to get home safe. Stuff like this kills me. Talk about a celebri-spiral!
I think Sarah and Dad are going to be OK, and maybe they'll understand each other a little better. And you just know Dad's proud of his little girl and her gutsy dream. Damn that show. I hope I can avoid it tonight.
posted by Dave Singleton @ 8:35 AM
4 Comments:
Does this girl's story remind anyone of Beyonce in Dreamgirls, where she shows up at the talent show all breathless and wide-eyed, telling some story about how she told her mama she was going to be sleeping over at Effie's house? And later, when they sign with the Fox and go on the road, she pins a little note to her sleeping mama's shirt? I am suspicious that Sarah and her daddy may be plagarizing this very worn, very effective formula. Does this explain why I'm not famous, because I never had the guts to sneak out of the house? Or is it my lack of talent? Good luck, little Sarah. Learn what "overdose" means before you climb any higher up the ladder of fame.
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