January 19, 2007: Too Lazy to Read Tabloid Crap in the Grocery Store Checkout? Read This

Thanks to The New York Daily News weekly coverage of crappy tabloid headlines for this craptabulous update. Now we know that Britney coverage of rumored "knock up" and new K-Fed look-a-like boyfriend beats coverage of Brangelina, Jennifer's supposed boob job, Simon Cowell calling himself an asshole, and Paris Hilton telling another desperate reporter looking for any ink and angle that she's "serious about acting."

Now maybe I can get through the grocery checkout line with my eyes averted and dignity intact. But probably not.