February 6, 2007: Basta, Gwyneth. Enough With the Interviews

I've held off on Gwyneth Paltrow. She's pretty. She's a good actress. I am sure she recycles. No doubt her children eat organic baby food, and it seems like her relationship with Mom, Blythe Danner, is strong. She and Madonna are going to be old, skinny British doyennes together and ride bicycles in Yorkshire. It's all good.

That's why I overlooked the alleged knocks against America vs. England and Portugal, from separate interviews in different years. After all, translators can't get anything right. Except of course, when they do (remember Mel Gibson's pre sugar tits Spanish rant?). And the British. Well, they are just impossible. Except, of course, when according to the wrongly translated Brit interviews, they are more civilized than Americans. Anyway, Gwynnie's upset about the misperception, but why does it keep happening, as Pop Sugar asks?

I even overlooked the snarky upper lip sneer during interviews and slow, world-weary slinking on red carpets and clearly PR-centric parties.

But they're not the point of today's blog-o-rant. Today, the focus is on another interview, in which she comments, "I reached a place where I thought, 'It's okay that I have a passion for something besides my family.' I love making films. If I do one thing that makes me fulfilled, then I'm a more interesting woman for my children."

As my friend Lisa G. comments, "Aren't her children, like, three years old? I would think their interest would be most captivated by popsicles and Television, not the identity of their mother. If these children grow up to have an ounce of insight, they will know to replace "interesting" with "pretentious."

Really. Is this just another example of how everyone now does everything, even the self-serving things, for "the children." Then I am writing this blog because it makes me a more interesting uncle, OK? Does she really feel the need to justify why she took a film gig? Did she really need to tell us how much she was over Hollywood when she got pregnant?

Cmon' Gwyneth. Basta. We get that being a happy, fulfilled person will make you a better mom, woman, wife, and whatever else you want to be. Moses and Apple don't want to sip their organic juicy-juice with a put-upon grouch. But you must know that this concept is not such a stretch for the demographic who read magazines like Harper's Bazaar, People, and Vogue, where your interviews appear.

So, enough of the weird interviews in which you sound elitist and self-indulgent, OK? If it's a misrepresentation issue, work it out. You've been doing this long enough to know how you'll sound. Take a cue from Julia Roberts, who is a master at giving funny interviews that get the job done, without saying anything.