January 1, 2007: A New Year's Wish-Just Say No to Toxic Celebrities

It's the 1st day of 2007 and I am resolved to:

-Take up Yoga again.
-Cut out white flour.
-Laugh more.
-Try to be on time.
-Stop reading magazines like US, In Style, and In Touch, and avoid websites like Gawker.com and Defamer.com.

Yes, that's right. In addition to standard-issue changes like cutting out bad food and changing bad habits, I am taking on the role of celebrities in my life. I can't avoid them, can you? But sometimes I wonder what like would be like if, in 2006 alone, I didn't know:

10. What Britney's pudenda looks like from seven angles.
9. What Nicole Richie's eating coach has to say about her client's "stress-related" eating disorder; you know, the one that 85 pound Nicole won't admit to having.
8. The details of how Paris Hilton tore through Greek Shipping heirs and landed on the newswires day after day.
7. How Jennifer Anniston is faring post Brad and now Vince.
6. All the AA meetings Lindsay Lohan apparently attended.
5. The details of the TomKat wedding.
4. Rosie O'Donnell's tiresome thoughts on Clay, Kelly, and The Donald.
3. Breakup secrets of Reese and Ryan, Denise and Charlie, Heather and Richie, Brit and Fed-Ex, and Pam and Kid.
2. The lowdown on Matthew and Lance's man-cations.
1. Lifestyles of the rich and famous swag whores who are pushing their sixteenth minute of fame.

In 2007, I want to figure out why I waste my time reading about people who not only are strangers to me, but also qualify, by most standards, as the media age's version of village idiots.

I have a busy life, good career, great friends, and yet still I escape to the land of overrated celebrity.Is it harmless fun? Or something more nefarious? As I contemplate our celebrity-immersed lives, I feel completely disgusted with myself, as if I've eaten two Big Macs, watched a porno and gambled away the rent money during a late night binge on poker.com. I think it's time to take on celebrity culture.

What do you think?